WAIT!

It makes my stomach turn seeing how much sex is thrown in our faces.  Sexual appeal of actual sex in placed in movies to spice it up.  We have easy access to porn via Internet and now, becoming more popular, in written form.  We are no longer told abstinence is the answer, but encourage people, especially young ones, to wait for someone special or be careful and safe.  Seriously?  The most ridiculous argument I heard the other day was this was the best measure to reduce teen pregnancy.  Once again I ask, seriously?!

Why has staying pure become to outdated in a world filled with AIDS, HIV, STDS and unplanned pregnancies?  Is it simply because we hear from others in an authority position that we should wait, so our automatic response is to rebel?  When I encourage young people to stay pure until marriage, it’s not because I’m trying to keep them from enjoying something.  On the contrary, I’m encouraging them to wait because I know to enjoyment and satisfaction that comes from waiting.

We seem to forget that God created sex!  God created this world for our enjoyment, and when He created Eve for Adam, He wanted them to find enjoyment together.  God knew sex was more than just to procreate; He wanted husbands and wives to have an intimacy that is to be shared with no one else.  When sex is taken outside of marriage, things get messy and complicate.  You create a soul connection with that person, and don’t use the excuse that there are no strings attached.  Attachment is made whether you acknowledge or not. 

So this is why I encourage those who are not married to wait till they are married.  As Christians, we do it out of an act of obedience.  When we accept Christ into our life, we are to do our best to live like Jesus and no longer sin.  Sex outside of marriage is a sin, plain and simple.  And it’s a sin against your own body.  When we commit other sins, it is usually against another person.  Let’s see what the bible says.

1 Corinthians 6:16-20 from The Message

There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Wow.  I love this version because it put it into such a different perspective for me.  Our bodies are a temple, that house the Holy Spirit.  How dare we defile it by indulging in sexual immorality.  We need to strive for keeping our bodies pure until we become one, which happens on your wedding night.  You may have attachment or our connected to someone when you have sex outside of marriage, but you truly are not one and it can cause you to be lonelier.  I can’t speak much for having sex outside of marriage on a personal level since I did wait, but those that I have spoken to have given me lots of insight.  They will be the first to tell you to wait.  And that sex in marriage is actually much more enjoyable than any sex you can have out of it.

So sweet girls, don’t allow this world to pollute your minds with sexual immorality.  Instead, follow after your Father God and have a pure heart, pure mind, and pure body.  The blessings and enjoyment you will receive in waiting…well, it’s worth the wait.  And that’s coming from personal experience.

With Thanksgiving in my Heart

I must apologize for not posting in almost a month.  Real life sometimes gets the best of you but that is no excuse.  So please forgive me :-)

With the thoughts of thanksgiving being tomorrow, I decided to write about being thankful.  I don't know if you are familiar with the hymn, but the song that always pops into my head is "I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter His courts with praise."  I remember singing this song countless times in the church I grew up in. 

If you grew up in church, I'm sure there were times you learned different prayers about giving thanks and things like that.  I must admit though, as I have gotten older, I have understood much more about being thankful in every thing.  It's easy to be thankful for the good times, but are we always "entering His gates with thanksgiving"? 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 states "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."  Are you able to give thanks to God in every circumstance you go through?  There have been many situations that have happened in my adult life that has made me question "why?"  And in those times I have struggled to be thankful.  As I have grown though in Christ, I am realizing there is a reason for everything, and I am learning to be thankful for it.

You may wonder how you can be thankful in the bad times.  We may not always know why we are going through it, but there is a reason.  And I can be thankful that I am going through it because that means God is still growing me and wanting to use me.  How thankful am I that God is still growing me! 

So no matter our circumstances, we should be thankful.  In the good times and bad times, in the times of tears or laughter, we should be thankful for what we do have, and thankful for what we are going through.  I am in a situation right now that sometimes has me in worry, fear, and doubt, but I have to remember that my God is with me through it all, and there will be a time when the verse will come to pass for me

Psalm 30:11-12
You did it: you changed wild lament
    into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
    and decked me with wildflowers.
I’m about to burst with song;
    I can’t keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
    I can’t thank you enough.

So what are you thankful for today?  Think about all that God has given you.  Think of the blessings God has given you.  When you think on that, I promise no matter what you are going through, you will find joy and thankfulness.

Devotion

I have kind of been at a lose for what to write about...and also life has been a little crazy, so I haven't had much time to sit down and think about what I want to post.  Then I felt a little convicted today when I heard something on the radio that goes along with the chapter we read this week for a bible study I do with some of my sweet HS girls.

I am not sure which pastor it was on the radio (they feature a lot on KSBJ) but he made some statements that went something like this:
2 hours seems long when we're in church, but 2 hours fly by when we are watching a movie.  We struggle to just read one chapter of the bible, yet we can finish the latest book in a day (guilty) we can talk on and on with a friend, yet we can't find time to talk to God.

We could take it even further, and add in boyfriends, facebook, twitter, phone, celebrities...what do you devote your time to?

We are going through the book Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall and the chapter we were to read this week was about becoming a Lady of Devotion.  Sometimes we devote ourselves fully to trying to find "Mr Right" when we should be using our singleness as a way to devote ourselves to God.

So what do you devote yourself to?  Do you spend true time with God?  Do you talk to Him?  Do you praise Him?  Does He come first in your life?  Or has something else taken over your devotion, leaving God on the backburner?

And don't think you can be devoted to both.  I've heard people say "Of course I love God.  I live for Him.  But it's ok to like this or that; there's nothing wrong with it."

The bible clearly tells us we can't be devoted to both God and something else in Matthew 6:24-No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

To be honest  with you, a lot of people start to love whatever is between them and God more than Him, then end up filling empty afterwards.

You're not the only one who has ever done it.  We all at some point have devoted ourselves to other things to find fulfillment and happiness.  When we devote ourselves fully to God, we find everything we could ever ask for.  It doesn't mean our life will be perfect or easy, but when our life is consumed by our Almighty God, we have the confidence that He will get us through whatever, and fulfill us in a way that the things of the world can't.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be a tough issue for a lot of people.  There are a lot of times it can be hard to go to someone we have done wrong to and ask for their forgiveness.  For a lot of people, this is one of the hardest things to do.  But for many others, I think there is something even harder to do; give forgiveness.

How many time has there been someone who has done something to you that hurt or upset you, and when they came to you and asked for forgiveness, you really didn't want to hear it or give it to them.  I know I have been there.  It is hard when you've been hurt.  We feel betrayed, vulnerable, and sometimes anger.  But do you know what the bible says about this.

Matthew 6:15- "But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Wow.  If you can't forgive someone, God can't forgive you.  Does that change your mind about forgiving someone?  This just shows the importance of being able to give forgiveness. 

We are suppose to be a representation of Christ to a world that doesn't know Him.  What a way to show the love of Christ, by being able to forgive someone that others never would.

There is a part in a new song by TobyMac that spoke volumes to me and out the act of forgiveness in a different light for me.

"But those forgiven much , should be quicker to give it
And God forgave me for it all, Jesus bled forgiveness
So when the stones fly and they aimed at you
Just say forgive them, father, they know not that they do"

God, who didn't have to forgive us when we decided to sin against him, forgave us of our sins.  Jesus died for us so we wouldn't have to pay for our sins.  If God was able to forgive us completely, so we should be able to then give forgiveness to a person who has done wrong by us. 

Being able to forgive someone is such a beautiful picture of the grace and mercy of Christ.  Action speak louder than words.  Sometimes we can preach the word over and over to someone and they won't get it, but a simple act, like forgiving someone, can paint the picture of salvation better than our words can.

Is there someone you need to give forgiveness to?  Don't wait another day to accept it.  Life is too short to carry the anger, the hurt, the bitterness in your heart.  Give forgiveness, and show the love of Christ.

Looking Forward

I love my two little girls...so so much...but there is something both of them do that drive me insane.  I don't know why it bugs me so much, but it does.  Both of my sweet little girls look everywhere else when they are walking, except in front of them.  They will become so focused on something, and instead of just a quick glance, completely ignoring it, or stopping to look, they keep walking while looking at it.  This usually results in me getting on them, or they run into something and end up hurting themselves.  This just happened once again yesterday, and as I told my oldest to pay attention and look forward, I thought about how God tells us to look ahead and not focus on things behind us.  Paul tells us this in Philippians 3:12-14.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I love the part in the passage where it says "forgetting what is behind".  I think this is a struggle for a lot of Christians.  We want to live for Christ, and focus on where we are going and what we are doing, but we get distracted by what is behind us...our past.  For some of us, our past is pretty ugly and Satan loves to use that to take our focus of whats ahead.  When we decided to look behind us, we can sometimes end up hurt, like how my daughters sometimes get hurt when they're not looking.  Or sometimes we can hurt others.  No matter what, when we look and focus on what is behind us, we lose focus on what our goal is.
Think about it; I'm sure there have been times you were walking towards something, another object caught your eye, and you continued walking even though we weren't looking in the direction you were going.  When you finally do, were you still walking a straight line; still headed the same way?  I know for me, a lot of times I see I'm walking a different way.  Same thing with people who drive and start looking at other things or look out the window.  A lot of times the car ends up swerving, or you cross the line, which could be detrimental. 

As Christians we are to be focused on what is in front of us, the goal.  And our goal is different from the worlds.  Our goal has an eternal factor.  An everlasting affect.

Now we of course aren't perfect; we are going to have times when we struggle and lose focus, but its how we handle those times that matters.  My past still likes to taunt me, and there are times I end up looking at it.  What matters is that I focus more on God and what He has for my life. 

Its hard to keep pure if we continue to look behind, but if we keep focused on the goal and the road God has laid before us, a life of purity will be easier and you will find more satisfaction than the world could offer.

Speak Life

Us girls love to talk don't we.  Whether its among a big group of people, to only a close group of friends, or in a general...we love to talk.  Sometimes its good words...other times its bad.  Maybe you are thinking, "My words don't hold much merit."  Maybe you believe the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones...but words will never hurt."  Yeah, please excuse my language but that's a load of baloney!!!  Words hurt!  Whether they come from a stranger or someone close to you, they hurt.  Do you know what the bible says about our words?

James 3:3-10 "If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. ..."

If that verse doesn't convince you about the power are words hold...how about this one

Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Did you know that the words we speak will either breath life or death into someone.  Think about the words you have spoken today.  Did they give someone hope?  Did they give love?  Encouragement...life?  Or were your words creating chaos, confusion...death? 

The world tells us not to allow the words of others to influence us, just like that sticks and stones quote.  But once again we see it goes completely against the words of the bible.  As Christians, our words should be speaking life into ALL of those around us; the ones we like, the ones we know, the ones we don't like, and the ones we don't know.  There might be someone who is in a really bad place in life, and maybe by just some simple words spoken by you bring hope into their life.  I do my best to remembered that when I may get annoyed by someone or want to roll my eyes.  I have no clue where someone may be in their life, but I should be encouraged and challenged to show the love of Christ to people each day by my words.  That may be the only way someone comes to know Jesus.

So, are your words bringing life or death?  Are they rebuilding or breaking.  As you speak each day, think about your words and what they are creating.  Lets be girls of life and not death!

Beauty only Skin Deep

We live in a world that is fixated on how to look better. 50 is the new 40, 40 is the new 30, 30 is the new 20, 20 is the new 10?!  Ok maybe that last one is a little odd, but the truth of the matter is that is how our world thinks.  We are constantly looking for something to make us look younger and better.  Think of how many magazines you see that can "help" women achieve this.  Think about how many products that are out there that promise "youth" for women.  Sometimes I think guys have is easier.
My husband once asked me why us women used so much crap and do so much stuff to themselves.  I automatically answered, "Because of you (generally speaking of guys.)"  And truth be told, some of it does come from guys, but really it comes from other women competing with each other and just the world in general.  Satan knows exactly how to attack women and he is getting better at it.  We constantly compare ourselves to others, or spend way to much money on trying to look our best.
Now I will say there is nothing wrong with wanting to look and be your best.  It is important to take care of yourself health wise and to have confidence in yourself.  But like some many other things, when that becomes our only goal and focus, we become lost in that, and in the world.  
We forget so quickly that material things fade, including beauty (or at least how the world sees it.)  So when all of that has gone away, whats left?  If we strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a lot.  The verse I cling to a lot in times of low self esteem is this:
 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.  But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
This completely contradicts what the world says.  The world wants us to praise women for their beauty and place them on a pedestal.  But this is just another lie the world loves to feed us.  
The most beautiful women I know are the ones that love God, love their families, and work for the greater good of others; not themselves.  Their inner beauty reflects on their outward beauty, and when you are a woman who is after God's heart, its His beauty that shines on you, and that is a beauty that surpasses all others.
This may be a struggle for a lot of young ladies to grasp because looks have always been pushed in one way or another on you, and the world is consumed by it.  I challenge you though to really think about this: at the end of your life, what do you want to be known for?  Someone who at one time was considered beautiful, or someone who loved her God with all her heart and made an impact on the world?

All the Days

One of my favorite passages of the bible can be found in Proverbs 31:30-31.  The passage in the NIV is titles A Noble Wife.  Even though I wasn't a wife while I was a teenager, this was still one of the passages I read continuously because I couldn't wait to be a wife and prayed I could be wife of noble character.
There was really one verse that I clung to as a teenager while I struggled greatly with self image issues was verse 30.  One day I will get to that, but there is a different verse I wanted to look at that I was reminded the other day.  I was going through my bible, which is the same one I used in high school, and saw a verse I had highlighted and had notes to the side of.

Lets take a look at the whole chapter, then we will examine a verse.

The Noble Wife

 ¹⁰ Who can find a noble wife?
      She is worth far more than rubies.
 ¹¹ Her husband trusts her completely.
      She gives him all the important things he needs.
 ¹² She brings him good, not harm,
      all the days of her life.
 ¹³ She chooses wool and flax.
      She loves to work with her hands.
 ¹⁴ She is like the ships of traders.
      She brings her food from far away.
 ¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark.
      She provides food for her family.
      She also gives some to her female servants.
 ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it.
      She uses some of the money she earns to plant a vineyard.
 ¹⁷ She gets ready to work hard.
      Her arms are strong.
 ¹⁸ She sees that her trading earns a lot of money.
      Her lamp doesn't go out at night.
 ¹⁹ With one hand she holds the wool.
      With the other she spins the thread.
 ²⁰ She opens her arms to those who are poor.
      She reaches out her hands to those who are needy.
 ²¹ When it snows, she's not afraid for her family.
      All of them are dressed in the finest clothes.
 ²² She makes her own bed coverings.
      She is dressed in fine linen and purple clothes.
 ²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate.
      There he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
 ²⁴ She makes linen clothes and sells them.
      She supplies belts to the traders.
 ²⁵ She puts on strength and honor as if they were her clothes.
      She can laugh at the days that are coming.
 ²⁶ She speaks wisely.
      She teaches faithfully.
 ²⁷ She watches over family matters.
      She is busy all the time.
 ²⁸ Her children stand up and call her blessed.
      Her husband also rises up, and he praises her.
 ²⁹ He says, "Many women do noble things.
      But you are better than all the others."
 ³⁰ Charm can fool you. Beauty fades.
      But a woman who has respect for the Lord should be praised.
 ³¹ Give her the reward she has earned.
      Let everything she has done bring praise to her at the city gate.

The next couple of post I will probably talk about this, but lets take a look at verse 12.  It states "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Now since this passage its on being a wife I am sure a lot of us think "Ok, no problem.  I will do my best to be the best for my husband when we are married."  I am sure I thought the same thing.  But one time when I was reading through the verses, God spoke to me about what the verse meant.  Lets look specifically at the end of the verse: "ALL the days of her LIFE."  This verse doesn't say she brings him good in their marriage or during a certain area of her life, but it says ALL the days.  So guess what girls, you could be bringing your future husband good, or harm right now as we speak. 
I am sure for some this may seem odd to be thinking about.  Many of you may not even have the thought of marriage on your mind, but you should.  Of course I don't mean in the sense of your getting married tomorrow or in the next couple of years, but we should be thinking about it. 
There are people out there who think they should just live it up now while they are young, do whatever, and then when they are married, they will be honorable.  But this is not the case.  We should be striving to honor our future husband now! 
Are you living a life that would bring your husband good or harm?  Even some of the littlest choices we make can determine good or harm.  Are your dressing in a way that would honor him?  How would you feel if there were girls around him that dressed like you?  Would you have a peace about it and would you be jealous? 
How do you speak to others?  How do you treat the opposite sex?  How is your relationship with God?  Do you want a husband that as a strong relationship with God or just a so so?
You may not realize the choices you make now will have an influence on your future but they do.  And having a husband may seem like a long way away, but that doesn't mean you should only start honoring him when you say "I Do."  Live a life now that you know will bring good to your husband, where he knows he can trust you when you are in a marriage, because your past actions speak volumes.
Now maybe some of you haven't been living that life.  I'm not saying your husband won't be able to trust you now; there is forgiveness and redemption through Jesus Christ.  And when we turn from the way we have been living and strive to be a Godly woman, we will not only find a husband who is good to us, but one that we are good to in return.
Keeping a pure life will bring that good to your husband.  When your thoughts, words, actions, etc. are of a pure nature, you honor yourself, your future husband, but most importantly God.

A Heavy Heart

I am sorry I haven't posted in awhile, and my heart is heavy knowing what is spurring on this post today.

At a midnight premier of the new Batman movie, a shooting took place in Aurora Colorado, killing 12 people (last I heard) and hurting many others.  It is so scary to know that all these people went to go enjoying a movie that they had been waiting to see, and then we met with a dangerous situation. 

My mind went in a million different directions, thinking about what would come of this.  My heart went out to all of those people who lost loved one or their loved ones were injured.  My heart ached for the city of Aurora, knowing that even  those who were not directly affected, were still hurting.  It made me think of the many times I've gone to the movies with my husband and girl, or honestly anywhere, thinking we were safe when really something dangerous could have been lurking around.

It's at times like this that it is so crucial to cling to Jesus.  When an event like this takes place, we may feel frighten, unsure, confused, and the one thing that is constant through it all is Jesus.  You may not have gone through a tragedy like this, but we all have experienced some level of hurt or sadness that has made us feel like we are losing grip on what we thought we knew.  One verse from the bible that brings me comfort is this:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

We are never left alone.  When the world is caving in around us, God is still there through it all, the one constant in our life.  He alone is who we should turn to when we need comfort, peace and understanding.

This is conducive to living a pure life.  I know it may seem like a stretch for some or just not even important, since we automatically think physical purity, but think about this for a moment.  When people go through an event that brings horrors to them, think about what they may turned to besides God.  Anger? Revenge?  Drugs?  Alcohol?  Sex?  The list goes on and on.  These are all things that can bring destruction to our lives.  They may be easier to turn to at the time, but the end result is not of healing or peace.  It usually leaves you still in confusion, distress, loneliness, and this list goes on and on.  Choices like these chip away a little at a time at our purity, or sometimes take a huge chunk.

Cling to the verse Deuteronomy 31:6 when dangers and trials come your way, and remember to cling to our Maker, our Lord.  Know that when these danger rise against us, we have someone who stands beside us, for us, and sometimes carries us when we need it.

Continue to pray for the people of Aurora Colorado.  The next few days are going to be scary and insane, and for a long time there will be hurt.  Pray God's peace and comfort for everyone.  And lift up the shooter's family.  It cannot be easy for them either to know it was a loved one of theirs that carried out this act. 

Can I Get A Witness

Hehe.  I love saying that.
Ok, so I am going to be honest.  I had no idea what I was going to write on.  I had just decided to not write this week, until the thought of posting my testimony crossed my mind.  I'm sometimes weird about not wanting to share it, not because I am embarrassed about it or anything...I've just always felt weird, don't really know how to explain it.  So I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and share.

I was very blessed to grow up in a Christian home.  We went to church every Sunday we could and Wednesday, and I loved it!  The joke was if the doors were opened, I was there.  Didn't matter if it was Senior Adult Game night...I wanted to be there. At the age of 7, I accepted Christ and was baptized.  I understood as much as a seven year old can about being a Christian...it all being very anti-climatic.  I stayed at a very surface level in my relationship with Christ. 

In junior high, issue began to rise for me.  The days of being a lanky child was over for me and the uncomfortable times of being a teenager rose.  My self esteem took a huge hit, especially when boys noticed all my friends and not me.  I also began to have depression and thoughts of hurting myself.  To this day it still shocks me that my 12 year old self was feeling this.  Junior high pretty much stunk!  But I hid it behind being involved in lots of things.  Though I did confide in my youth group what was going on, I still hid how much a really hurt.

Before I started high school, we got a new youth minister who truly showed my whole youth group what being a Christian meant.  It was truly dying to yourself and living a life that showcased Christ.  I began questioning my salvation.  I even talked with my youth minister about it and "accepted Christ again".  I believe though that it truly was more of a rededication, that accepting Christ when I was 7 was the actual time I became a Christian, but as I grew, my faith and knowledge grew.  It was also around this time I felt God calling me into full time ministry.  I was excited about where I was going and couldn't wait.

While high school was a better experience, I still struggled with depression and self esteem issues.  I really really hated myself, but continuously hid it.   I would confess to people what I was dealing with, and try to get better, but still put a mask on.  It was actually in high school when I cut myself for the first time.  And it scared the mess out of me.  I was so shaken and freaked out over it; I hid in my closet and called my youth minister and his wife.  It truly was like someone else took control of me when I did that.  To this day I know it was Jesus that stepped in and yanked that razor out of my hand...and the other times as well.  I never cut myself deep enough to leave scars, but the emotional scars were there.

I also never dated in high school.  Now, I went to prom my freshman and junior year, but both times were with friends.  It only hit me about a year ago that before I started high school, I actually prayed to God that I didn’t want to get involved in the dating game, that I wanted to play for keeps and have a meaningful relationship, possibly only with my future husband.  Well, that’s what happened, but I allowed some many things to influence me and allowed that to overtake my life.  During the second semester of my senior year, I started liking this guy a year younger than and we ended up getting together.  He went to my church, I saw him as a strong Christian and a great guy.  And he was.  I do not blame him for anything that I am about to say, but honestly; we were not the best for each other.  We were together for almost two years, and because of my insecurities, I clung to him and changed my whole life for him.  It became so bad I turned against my own family and more importantly my relationship with God.  I was no longer going into ministry, and I even moved out of my house and in with his family.  Even though I was doing everything I said I would never do (clubbing, drinking, swearing, and smoking) thought I lived with my boyfriend’s family and him, we never went beyond kissing.  And I will always be thankful that he felt as strongly about that as I did, because that is something I am so grateful for that I never caved on. 

After that relationship ended, I was still in a bad place and my relationship with my parents was still bad.  During this time I was getting help, but my relationship with God was still rough.  In that next year, Kyle came back to my life (we had met three years prior) and we got married.  During the next four years my relationship did get better with God, and even though we have gone through some hardships, I strived to get back in line with God.  I had rededicated my life during this time, bur never publicly.  Once we moved to Katy, I had many opportunities presented to me to get back into ministry and I was so excited about it.  At Beach Retreat just a few weeks ago, God really spoke to me about surrendering it all and I made a commitment to, and even though I fought with Him all week about it, I went down to be baptized during the commitment service.  It wasn’t because I believe this act “saved” me again, but it was my way of saying I know the commitment I’ve made as a Christian to live for Christ, and my recommitment to be in ministry full time.

Now my life isn’t perfect…I still struggle with things, but I can tell you this, my life now compared to my rebellious years where I only lived for me is a million times more fulfilling.  Don’t allow this world to convince you that what it has to offer is better.  It is a temporary fulfillment; God’s fulfillment is eternal.  When you look at it that way, God’s way is much more desirable.  I hate the things I’ve gone through in the past, but my prayer now is that I can use that to help teenage girls find their self worth in God and not take the path I did.   That is why I have this blog.  Though I may not know every person who reads this, I love you all, because you are a beautiful creation of God and He loves you as well.  Living a life that is set apart can be tough, but is well worth it!

Pride and Prejudice

            As humans, we are generally judgmental people.  As Christians, though, we are to have a set apart life, meaning we shouldn’t fall victim to things other people do, such as judging.

           

Oswald Chamber’s stated in one of his entries in “My Utmost for His Highest” that “the average Christian is the most piercingly critical individual known.” Ouch.

           

How can that be though, since we are to be set apart from the world, and show the love of Christ?  Now, please note I am not saying every Christian is judgmental, but a lot of times, we feel because we are Christians, we have the right to judge.  We get an ego about ourselves, thinking we are above others because we know God and they don’t.  We scoff at those who commit sins that we find so horrible, or at the way someone lives their life because it’s so different from ours.  Have we really forgotten that God sees sin all on the same level, or that it probably wasn’t long ago that we were living a life of sin?

In Matthew Chapter 7 verse 1 it says, “Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.” (MSG)

           

 Just because we are Christians, and have the Holy Spirit living in us, does not give us the right to tear down and criticize others.  God is the only judge and He uses the Holy Spirit to convict in a way that is not hurtful.

           

 As girls, I think we are extremely quick to judge.  We judge those who we think are better than us; we judge those who we think our below us.  We judge the girl who has the hot boyfriend or the latest fashion, or the girl who’s clothes don’t fit right or aren’t as thin as us.  Of course it doesn’t help that the media is constantly shoving down our throats what is hot and what is not.  We judge the girl who is known to get around in school, or the girl we know loves to party.  As young Christian women, we are not to be like others.  Just because a girl has something we want or lives a way we know is wrong, we are not the one to be their judge; unless of course we want someone to do the same to us.

(Please note that there is a difference between certain kinds of judgment: discernment and criticism.  Discernment if a whole other topic we might cover at sometime.  This is why I love The Message version of Matthew 7:1; it uses negative words like criticize and pick on.  This is the kind of judgment I am talking about.)

One of my all time favorite books is Pride and Prejudice.  I could read or watch the movie all the time.  I am a sucker for romance as I have said before, but there is a greater lesson to learn than just love from this book.  Just take a look from the title, Pride and Prejudice.  Doesn't sound very romantic.  The reason why is because a lot of the prejudice is going around.  People begin judging each other either based on one interaction, one conversation, or gossip going around town.  Its because of all these aspects, that Lizzie has such judgments against Mr. Darcy.  She allows the influence of others, and a couple of interactions with him, to create a judment about him, instead of just trying to get to know him.  How many of us have made those same judgments without getting to know the person?

We don’t know everyone’s situation.  Someone could be acting the way they are due to learned behavior, due to needing attention or love, or because no one has told them simply it is wrong.  The best thing we can do for that person is pray for them (not in a holier than thou way) and show them the love of Christ. 

           
As we have talked about in past blogs, all these little steps can help us live a life of purity.  We want to be seen as set apart from others because we have Christ living in us, and what better way to show that we are set apart than by loving those that others judge.  So I encourage you to be the girl who doesn’t scoff or judge those that our different from you, or begin the have a “holier than thou” attitude towards other.  Allow the love of Christ to shine through you.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

My husband learned a valuable lesson once God blessed us with two sweet girls.  He said, “Boys are destructive, girls are vindictive.”  I looked at him and just smiled, saying, “Sweetie, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”
Once I said this, though, my heart became sad.  As I thought back to when I was younger, and all the drama that surrounded my friends, I began to pray my daughters wouldn’t get caught up in all that.  It was one of the reasons I enjoyed hanging out with my guy friends.  If they had an issue with one another, they hashed it out and then five minutes later were best friends again.  Girls though were sneaky.  They would sometimes continue a friendship, faking their sincerity, then turn on you in a second!
All this came to mind as I was doing the first Post Quiet Time in our Silent Sounds booklet from Beach Retreat (SBC).  As Christians, I think one of the areas we struggle with is Love - especially girls.
You would think that love would be easy to convey.  We love our parents and our friends, and it’s easy to express that.  What is hard though is when we have to love someone that may be different from us, or that we don’t get along with.  This is when it is easy to express “fake” love.  
As young women, we are bombarded by peer pressure, the media, and sometimes family to join a certain group and be a certain way, causing us to look down upon others.  I remember watching a show one time that said when you “pitied” someone you said “Bless their little heart.” How condescending!
Let’s look at what Paul said in Romans 12:9-16 (MSG)

“Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.”
   
    Notice how Paul says don’t fake it.  As Christians, we are to have a genuine love that overflows from us.  I love how the message phrases this: love from the center of who you are.  If we are truly Christians, the center of our lives is supposed to be Christ; hence we are to love as He loved. Jesus turned from anything evil and clung to that which was good.  He placed others before Himself (proof when He died on the cross for our sins) and was there for them in times of joy and sorrow, even after death.  
    The world’s view tells us just the opposite. It states that we are number one and that we only should be looking out for our self, to only be around others when it makes us look god or causes us to gain.  If we want to convey true love, we must follow Christ example of love.  So what does this mean for us?  We should turn from gossip when our friends decide to start it up, even when they say it’s “to help”.  We should reach out to those who are considered “unlovable” or rejects?  When schemes to embarrass or laugh at someone present themselves, we should stop it if we can or walk away.  This is showing genuine love.  Remember, Jesus surrounded Himself with the outcast of His time and always showed love.  

    But what about someone who did you wrong?  Sometimes it’s hard to not want to retaliate or lash out in anger.  Some Christians like to refer to the “eye for and eye” verse in the Old Testament to justify their actions but clearly take this verse out of context.  Let’s see what Paul said in Romans 12:17-21 (MSG)

“Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.”

It clearly states that we are to not pay back evil with evil; no more eye for an eye.  We are to love everyone and live in peace with them.  We are not the ones to avenge someone who has done us wrong…it is God’s.  If He has taken care of everything else for us, wouldn’t He take care of this?  It’s sometimes hard to believe in this when it doesn’t happen in the time frame we have or in the way we think it should, but leave it for God to take care of.  We are not the judge.

Have you ever heard the phrase “kill them with kindness”?  Now, I’m not saying truly kill someone, or to have a fake kindness, but to truly reach out to your enemies even though it is hard to.  Once again, it may be very odd to some people, but it’s what we are called to do.  As Christians, we are to love everyone; not just a select few.  It’s hard to love those who do us wrong, but what better way to be a testament for Christ.  

Believe it or not, Jesus loved even those who wanted Him dead.  If He can love those who turned on Him, we can love those who do us wrong because Christ lives in us.

Please hear me when I say I know how hard it is to love those who are not in your group, different from you, or who do you wrong.  I struggled with it as a teen and I still struggle with it now.  Yet, this is something we should strive to do each and every day.  This is the way people can separate us from the world.This is what should set us apart.  “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." (John 13:35)  The world will know you are a Child of God by your love for everyone.

Living a life of purity involved loving everyone, as Christ loves everyone.

Do Not Consider Outward Appearance

I was sitting in meeting for our church's Beach Retreat leaders, being my giddy excited self.  I love Beach Retreat and I can't wait to spend a week with my amazing high school girls, see what God has instore for them, and to see what God is showing me!  Seriously...I am so excited I've already started packing!
Ok, back on topic Courtney...As I was saying I was in the meeting and we get to the rules and guidelines for the kids.  One that always sticks out to me is the dress code.  I know lots of people role their eyes at things like this, but I think the importance of this, and the duty as girls of God have for covering our bodies.  Like I have said in past post, I understand that during summer, its hot, and humid, and shorts and tank tops can be the most comfortable thing to wear...but when there is less material than skin showing, there is issues.

I love the message in 1 Peter chapter 3.  Now, this is addressed the wives, but this holds importance to all  girls.

The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.
 ^4-6Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.

Now please know I'm not saying its wrong to take care of yourselves.  Its good to have confidence and its ok to want to look nice, but when its becomes your main focus, and you are using it to draw attention to yourselves, is when it becomes wrong.

Dress codes are not there to make it difficult for you to pack, or be uncomfortable.  Do you know that the way you dress can draw the focus away from God?  When you wear revealing clothes, all eyes are drawn to you, when all eyes are suppose to be on God.  You could be a distraction to someone who needs to hear what God has for them. 
Belive it or not girls, and it may be harder to believe due to media and some people out there, but guys prefer a woman whose inner beauty shines brighter than the outer. 

So like I said, its ok to want to fix yourself up and have confidence, but that is not what matters.  Your inner disposition is what matters.  If you are going somewhere this summer that has a dress code, don't balk at it; follow it.

Am I Pretty or Ugly?

I had been wanting to write a different blog to go along with my last one, but this kept coming to mind and heart after seeing a report of the news a few weeks ago.  I can't ignore it anymore, and even though it makes me sick to think this is happening, its time to address it.

Have you seen the videos on youtube?  Where teenage girls, and some younger, post a video asking people to comment on if they are pretty of ugly?  When I heard the report I didn't want to believe it...but just like everything else that has gone viral, I guess it was only a matter of time that this happened.  I'm not sure how long this has been going on, but it doesn't matter: Its happening and it should stir something in the hearts of everyone.

This is an age old question that I'm sure has been asked since the first bite of the forbidden fruit.  As soon as sin entered the word, insecurities soon followed.  Though Eve was the only one, I'm sure there were times she questioned if Adam found her attractive.  Satan knows exactly how to get to women and often times it's through looks.  We've questioned our looks for years, but it seems as if it is getting worse. God never intended for any of His creations to be questioned.

Throughout the years different shapes and sizes have been found attractive. We see this in history as it plays out over the years.  It seems in the past couple of decades, what is found as "attractive" has become almost dangerous.  There are those who think "barely there" is pretty because its what we see on the runways, and this is where eating disorders begin (all kinds, anorexia, bulimia and binging) or we think certain assets are pretty and we pay tons of money to obtain that look.  (Side note: I am not putting anyone down who has had plastic surgery.  Everyone has there reasons and I am not one to judge.  But when it is done because we think we need to be prettier or to have someone be more attractive to us, it can cause problems that are hard to come back from.)

Whatever the reason, we live in a society where very few people believe they were born pretty.  We base our looks on what others say (parents, friends, boyfriends, society) or on what the fashion magazines consider pretty or what is "in".  I have been a victim of this as well.  Self esteem issues are a constant battle for me; trying to remember that I was designed specifically and forget what the world says.  Our self worth is not found in what others say or think, but in God alone. In everything He created in us and for us reflects what we should be for Him.

There have been many times I have had to cling to the verse found in Psalm 139.  The version I am posting is from The Message.  I love it:

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother's womb.
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day.(vs 13-16)

God designed us to be a unique and beautiful creature.  I love reminding people that "God don't make ugly!"  And its true. Man created this four-letter word and many more to follow. God is the Creator of the world and he made it beautiful, especially us.  It says we were created in the image of Him.  If this is the case, do you want to call God ugly?  Nope I didn't think so.  So don't call yourself that. End of story!

Earlier on, did you noticed how I said "beautiful" instead of "pretty"?  There is a difference between these two and it isn't a matter of one being better that the other.  I was once told back in high school that "pretty is what you look like, beautiful is what you are."  I've known a lot of "pretty" girls, by society's standard, but they could never be classified as beautiful with the attitudes they displayed.  I've also known a lot of  "normal looking" girls, once again by society's standard, but were breathtakingly beautiful because who they really were, their inner core, shone brighter than their physical appearance.

So girls, don't go around asking if your pretty or ugly.  You honestly might not like the answer because every one has different tastes, and most of that is based solely on a worldly vision.  Remember, your beauty is found in your Creator..."and He don't make ugly!"

What Do Your Clothes Say?

Does is really matter how I dress?  This is a question that comes from so many girls.  And honestly, it is a valid question.  We see how celebrities dress, people we may look up to, or the girl who sits next to us in class, and they wear things are "in style".  Now, I am like other girls and love clothes!  I get into all those fashion TV shows, which drives my husband crazy.  I love the creativity of it, and while there are some amazing designs out there, not all of them should be worn by girls, or women, especially those who believe in Jesus.
Now, if you are from the south, I understand, we have like 10 months of Summer and it gets HOT!!!!  So normal wear is shorts and some kind of short sleeve shirt or tank.  And this is fine, if you're not showing off your body.  It drives me crazy when I see girls in teeny tiny shorts that could possibly fit my little girls and shirts that show off too much on top.
There are many different reasons why girls dress like this, and none of them are good.  Our world fully believes that sex sales and it starts by how you display your body.  But that doesn't mean we have to.  Believe it or not girls, guys actually like a little bit of mystery, but there is no mystery to be found if you are already showing everything off.  When you dress this way, you are drawing all kinds of attention, which is usually the goal, but is not the kind of attention you want, trust me.
Growing up I hated anything that showed my body.  I wouldn't even wear a slight v neck shirt that showed nothing, but I didn't care.  I felt so exposed.  Then there came a time I didn't care and I wore things that I cringe at when I think about it.  I hate knowing that while I never showed everything, I hated that glimpses were seen that should have only been reserved for my husband.  And honestly, that is something you have to think about.  Is what you are wearing respecting your future husband, or disrespecting him?  For some, thinking in this mind set is a little out there.  Some of you may think that you're not getting married for awhile, so why does it matter?  But it does matter.  In Proverbs 31, it states that a woman of noble character brings honor to her husband ALL the days of her life, not just the ones where she's with him.
Its not just about your future husband; its also about you.  I'm sure you've heard time and time again that you should respect yourself, etc etc, and I'm sure there's even some of you rolling your eyes because when you hear that you get blah about it.  But it is so true girls.  So many times we want attention or we want someone to notice us, so we go to the extremes by how we dress, hoping to draw attention from anyone!  This is not how a woman, especially a believer.  When I see a girl dressed like that, I don't see a girl who respects herself or has a great self esteem; my heart actually breaks because I know, whether the girl wants to admit it or not, that she's hurting and probably thinks very low of herself.  We should truly dress in a way that shows we respect our self enough to cover up our body.  That brings the kind of attention you want.
Do you girls know we have the best Daddy ever!  Our heavenly Father is amazing, and it breaks his heart when we dress in a way that reveals something that's not our own.  Our bodies our not ours. 
There are two verses that come to mind when I think about what brings joy to our Daddy's heart with how we dress:
1 Timothy 2:9-10: Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works
And 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Wow.  We bring glory to God with how we dress!  Maybe that's what we should think about while we are getting dresses: Does this outfit glorify God, or glorify me?  Remember, we are not our own.  Jesus paid the price for us so we could be with Him in Heaven forever.  We can bring glory to Him, and say thanks my our choice in clothes.  That's what we should want our clothes to.

Isn't it just Sex?

No, it isn't.

This specific topic will be a recurring theme, so this won't be a long post.  In today's world, we are given two views when it comes to sex. 
On tv, movies, magazines, billoboards, we are bombard with sex.  We are told to do what feels good, that we can't be expected to stay pure till we're married.  It makes me sick to my stomach that all around us, the world preaches that the practice of abstience doesn't work, that its an ancient belief, and while its good to try and do that, people can't be expected to follow through with it.  So we teach kids about safe sex and the precautions to take so we don't spread disease or get pregnant. 
Not in all, but a lot of churches preach the opposite, and not always in a positive fashion.  We are told sex is bad, shameful, something that is wrong for us to take a part of.  This isn't always the best way to go about sex either.  We are a rebelous creature.  When someone tells us we can't do something, we a lot of times want to.
So one side is telling us to go for it, while the other says No No No!  Is it any wonder that premartial sex is such a norm.

The truth about sex should be taught.  We should be teaching what a beautiful, natural act sex is...when done in the covenant of marriage.
Its saddens  me that marriage is no longer seen as a covenant.  We live in a world filled with broken and half prmoises, things easily broken.  I don't even like to say marriage is a commitment, because I've seen lots of people go back on a commitment as well.  The word covenant means so much more.  In the bible, we don't see that God promised something to the Jews, He made a covenant, something sacred with them.
Marriage is thrown around just as much as sex is.  We will cover more on marriage in later blogs.
I want to start to encourage you to understand the beauty of sex after the marriage vows are said.  A marraige is actually not complete until it is consumated.  I personally can tell you that one, it is worth waiting, and two it is a beautiful act that God created to be between one woman and one man in the bonds of marriage.  I will always be happy that I waited until my wedding night to share this personal act with my husband.  He is the only one who has known me that way.  Sex is not just a physical connection.  it is mental, emotional, and spiritual.  
It hard to say you are one who is waiting in a world that says whats the use, why deny yourself something thats so basic.  Take the stand though to stay pure.  There is a verse in the bible that sums this and the last two post up.
Phillipians 4:8- Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
When we surround ourselves with these things, we think on these things, we hide these things in our heart, its easier to stay the course of physical purity.  Its harder to abstain from sex when we surround ourselves with others who don't hold the same belief, allow ourselves to be sucked in to shows and music that glorify sex outside of marriage.
I encourage you to begin to pray for God to help you keep a pure heart, a pure mind,a pure body.  And also begin the pray for your spouse.  Its amazing how easier it is to keep a commitment of purity if you already pray for the one you will make a covenant with one day.